Day 31 blog

I don’t write this blog for sympathy, I write to inspire.

Today was a big day for me. I officially booked two speaking engagements for February, both with pretty large audiences. Every time something like this happens, I have to sit with it for a moment. A few years ago, I never could have imagined people would invite me to share my story, let alone on stages for companies, leadership summits, and events where I am seen as someone who overcame the unthinkable.

Some of you already know that I have spoken at women leadership summits and at several Amazon events since I am one of their top sellers. A few other companies have asked me to speak as well. But many of you here do not really know my full story. I get asked about it often, and I have always said I would share when I felt ready. Booking these new events made me realize that maybe today is the day to finally open up.

So here is my story.

I graduated high school at 16 and started college at 17, where I met “Prince Charming”, who was also my first boyfriend. At 17, I was so infatuated that a 22-year-old liked me. Everything moved fast. Against my parents better judgment, I moved in with him after the first quarter of school. We went to USC together and even took the same classes because it felt like the cute thing to do at the time.

Slowly, things shifted. He became more controlling. I could not go anywhere without him. If someone looked at me, it was somehow my fault. He isolated me from my family and friends. Eventually he began putting his hands on me, but only where it would not show.

Then it escalated. He added sexual abuse and eventually it turned in to trafficking, all hidden behind the fact that we were still attending classes and pretending life was normal. I had no cell phone and barely spoke to my family or any real friends. When I did, he monitored everything and I had to pretend I was fine. Deep down, I knew if they found out, someone would end up dead or my parents would break. Even so, they knew something was wrong.

During the day, everything looked normal from the outside. But once we got home, it was a nightmare. This went on for almost four years. My only contact with anyone was a few controlled minutes in class with people who were not really friends at all.

Then came December 2017. We went to dinner for my birthday. Something I did or did not do set him off. He started yelling at me in the car, but it felt different. When we got home, the last thing I remember was being pushed through the door. The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital on life support with all three of my parents and two of my best friends standing there terrified and confused.

After that, I spent a year in my parents basement on bed rest and living in fear. That year also became the period where I researched how to make money online and started my Amazon FBA business. From there, I kept building and creating the life I have now.

Getting him convicted took almost a year. They kept postponing everything. After a month-long trial where I had to relive every detail and see him every day, he was sentenced to 24 years. He served less than one year because of good behavior and how the California system works.

Recently, he attacked me again and put me in the hospital for an extended time. We went back to court, and he received 13 years. How much of that he will actually serve, no one knows. What I do know is that I am beyond grateful to no longer be in California.

So why am I sharing all of this today?

Because booking these speaking engagements reminded me of how far I have come. For so long, my story was something I survived. Now, it is something I can stand on. Something I can use to help others. Something that gives strength instead of taking it.

And maybe someone reading this needs to know that no matter how dark things get, your life can rebuild. You can rebuild. Your story does not end where someone tried to break you.

Mine didn’t. And I am just getting started.

Signed, Paulina.