Day 93

Let me share a word I received today that truly stopped me in my tracks. It is something I already knew, but hearing it framed this way hit differently.

My priest said, God does not build like Restoration Hardware. You cannot walk in, place an order, and expect it to show up seven to eight weeks later with white glove delivery. That is not how God works.

God builds like Ikea.

If you have ever bought something from Ikea, you know exactly what that means. It comes with what feels like fifty million pieces, a long instruction booklet, and it requires determination, patience, endurance, grit, time, effort, and energy. But that is how God builds. That is how He builds us in the process.

We hear it all the time, and it can sound cliche, but transformation really does happen in the journey. It happens in who you become while you are walking through it. The grit. The struggle. The uncomfortable middle. That is where refinement happens. That is where strength is built. That is where you are prepared to handle what is coming next.

This message hit me deeply today, especially when I look back on the last year of my life. Being hospitalized for nearly thirty days after being attacked. Major life changes. New business ventures. Selling a home, building and buying another, moving across the country. Every area of my life shifted all at once. There were days I did not know if I was going to make it. Days where all I could do was lie in bed, cry, and pray.

Looking back now, I can see that season for what it truly was. A season of refinement. A season where I was forced to look inward and upward instead of outward. A season where I had to figure out who I was, who I am, and whose I am outside of titles, roles, and expectations pulling me in every direction.

For someone who spent decades constantly moving, hustling, and staying busy, being forced into stillness was humbling. Sitting with myself and sitting with God changed me. I am not the same person I was six months ago. I am not the same person I was a year ago. And while I could not see it when I was in it, I can clearly see now that God was doing a deep work.

I would have loved for life to show up fully assembled, wrapped up neatly, and delivered quickly. But that is not how it works. I had to seek Him, sit with Him, and trust that He had me. My life has always been a God-only story, and He would not have taken me through what I went through without purpose.

Healing requires work. Growth requires work. Pushing through requires work. But every piece of that work serves a reason and a season. And seasons always change.

I also want to say this. We should not live our lives shrinking ourselves to make others comfortable. Confidence rooted in God is not arrogance. Knowing who you are and whose you are is not being full of yourself. It is walking in Godfidence. We should celebrate our wins, acknowledge our growth, and honor how far we have come. People are often quick to gather when you are broken, but uncomfortable when you show up healed, confident, and joyful. That is okay.

I know who I am. I know whose I am. And that changes everything.

I do not know who this message is for, but I felt called to share it. If you are in the middle of a hard season, trust that God is building something in you piece by piece. It takes time, patience, and effort, but the purpose will be worth it.

Keep going. The process matters.

Signed, Paulina.