Day 144 blog

Six months ago, I was in one of the darkest places mentally. And truthfully, my struggle with faith goes back even further. Years ago, after everything I had been through, I lost my faith in God. I questioned if He was protecting me, if He was even there at all. Over time, I found a little belief again, but it was surface level. I stayed busy, built my businesses, and kept making excuses instead of truly reconnecting.

Then September 2025 changed everything.

I hit rock bottom. I felt completely alone, lost, and honestly numb to everything. I remember having an argument with a friend, trying to explain how alone I felt and how badly I just wanted someone to care. It turned into a mess, and in that moment I felt like giving up completely. I truly did not care if I woke up the next day. I was at peace with leaving this earth.

And that same night, my priest showed up at my parents’ house. I had completely forgotten he was coming, but looking back, I know that was not by chance. That was God meeting me right where I was.

That night changed my life.

From that point on, I made the decision to put God front and center in everything. Not halfway. Not when it was convenient. Fully.

And I cannot even begin to explain what that has done for my life.

The peace, the clarity, the people He has brought into my life, the way I feel day to day. It is a completely different world. I have changed my circle, found deeper connections, and built a life that feels so much more fulfilling than anything I was chasing before.

On Easter Sunday, I will be getting baptized again at the same church I was baptized in as a baby. And this time, it means everything.

All I can say is this. When you truly put God at the center of your life, everything changes. In ways you cannot plan, cannot force, and honestly cannot even put into words.

It is the most beautiful transformation I have ever experienced.

Signed, Paulina.