Day 347 blog

I think one of the most important things to understand when it comes to relationships is that there is a difference between someone being attracted to you and someone genuinely being interested in you.

Attraction is easy. Someone can think you are beautiful, find you funny, enjoy your personality, or be drawn to the way you carry yourself. But genuine interest goes much deeper than that. It is about wanting to understand who you are beyond what someone sees on the surface.

It is wanting to know how your mind works, what matters to you, what makes you happy, what you have been through, what your goals are, and what you want out of life. It is being interested in the little details that other people might overlook because those details are part of what makes you who you are.

There is a difference between someone wanting your attention and someone wanting to know you.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I value intentionality more than empty words or temporary excitement. I want someone who asks questions because they genuinely want to hear the answers. Someone who remembers the little things I tell them. Someone who pays attention to my moods, notices when something is different, and cares enough to understand me instead of making assumptions about me.

I want a connection where interest goes both ways. Where two people are equally curious about each other, where conversations go deeper than surface-level attraction, and where getting to know one another feels natural rather than forced.

I don’t think you should have to convince someone to be interested in you. You shouldn’t have to constantly initiate conversations, carry every interaction, or wonder whether someone actually wants to make time for you. People have responsibilities, busy schedules, and difficult days, of course. Genuine interest does not mean someone is available every second of the day. It means their actions consistently show that getting to know you matters to them.

Consistency will always tell you more than chemistry alone.

You can have incredible chemistry with someone and still lack the foundation needed for a meaningful relationship. Attraction might bring two people together, but communication, respect, shared values, emotional maturity, and genuine curiosity are what allow a connection to grow into something deeper.

I also believe that the right person will want to understand the parts of you that aren’t immediately visible. They will want to know what motivates you, what challenges you, what you believe in, and what kind of future you are working toward. They won’t just be interested in the version of you that is easy to love when everything is going well. They will make an effort to understand you as a whole person.

And that is what makes a connection meaningful. Not the constant need for attention, not the excitement of wondering where you stand, and not the temporary validation of knowing someone finds you attractive. It is the comfort of knowing someone is choosing to learn you, understand you, and build something with you intentionally.

I think it is important to remember that we teach people how to treat us through the standards we maintain and the things we choose to accept. If you want something genuine, you have to be willing to walk away from connections that only offer pieces of what you are looking for.

You can appreciate someone’s attraction to you without mistaking it for commitment. You can enjoy getting to know someone without rushing to decide what they mean to your life. And you can remain open to love while still being intentional about who gets access to your heart.

For me, the goal isn’t simply to find someone who likes me. It is to find someone whose values align with mine, whose intentions are genuine, and whose actions make it clear that they want to know the person I am, not just the person they imagine me to be.

I believe God has a way of teaching us patience and discernment in our relationships. Sometimes, we become so focused on wanting a connection to work that we overlook whether it is actually right for us. Learning to slow down, pay attention, and trust what someone’s actions reveal can save us from investing our hearts in something that was never aligned with what we truly needed.

You don’t have to settle for being admired from a distance when what you want is to be understood up close.

Find someone who is interested in your heart, your mind, your values, your dreams, and the little things that make you who you are. Someone who doesn’t just want to experience your presence but genuinely wants to understand your world.

Because at the end of the day, being attractive to someone is one thing. Being known, understood, respected, and intentionally chosen is something entirely different.

And when it comes to relationships, I believe the depth of the connection will always matter more than the surface-level attraction that started it.

Signed, Paulina.